Online commentators were outraged when one stay-at-home mother revealed why she only had $100 left over for Christmas decorations, food and gifts for her three children.
In a viral Reddit post posted on r/AmITeA*****, Redditor u/NoChristmas2022 (aka the original poster or OP) said her husband is the couple’s sole breadwinner and detailed the heated aftermath of his decision to go to the World Cup in Qatar, instead of preparing for a family vacation.
Entitled, “[Am I the a******] for not doing anything for Christmas this year and driving my husband mad?” Post as of November 20, it has received nearly 18,500 positive votes and 4,000 comments.
“My husband works full-time and earns a decent salary BUT he has tightened control over spending… “He’s literally obsessed.”
Continuing to explain that she is responsible for all preparations for Christmas as her husband will not be back until December 20, the original poster said she was told there would be some money left over for proper preparations after spending on the World Cup.
Unfortunately, the original poster also said she only had $100 left to buy decorations, food and gifts for the couple and their three children.
“I was completely shocked,” OP wrote. “I told him $100 for a family Christmas celebration was ridiculously low.
“He told me to just ‘take it’ but I said if he decides to leave me with just 100 bucks then I won’t be doing anything for Christmas,” OP continued. “He’s in Qatar now…[and] he was just sending an angry message [angry message] calling me “broken”.
“[He’s] telling me to stop expecting to live as if I still lived in my parents’ house and stop trying to “rob” the kids of the joy of the holiday,” OP added. “He’s furious saying I’m punishing him for going and trying to feel guilty with his own money.”
Joint finances can be difficult for working couples, and even more complicated when only one partner has an income.
Last year, a study published by LendingTree’s MagnifyMoney found that 53 percent of American households had a double income, a slight increase from 2010.
The umbrella of “American households”, however, includes families with adult children who are able to earn a living on their own.
in 2018 Pew Research Center reported that 18 percent of mothers and fathers in the United States consider themselves stay-at-home parents, meaning that 11 million American parents did not work outside the home. And since the work-from-home revolution has yet to happen in 2018, non-working parents are unlikely to generate income.
For single-earner couples, finances can be a sensitive topic and cause great emotional stress if handled incorrectly and without transparency.
Amanda Claymanfinancial therapist and the Interior Ministry, he said Newsweek so that non-earning parents, left in the dark about their family’s finances, may feel rejected and excluded from decision-making processes that directly affect their lives as well as those of their children.
“In this image of marriage, we want each person to feel that they can pursue their dreams,” she said. “But it’s not really one person who can claim that.”
Clayman said too Newsweek that for stay-at-home parents, whose children and family are the top priority, realizing that their spouse’s priorities are different can be draining, especially given the disparity in financial opportunities.
In the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors echoed the sentiment and encouraged the original poster to seriously re-evaluate her marriage.
“This sounds like fraud,” Redditor u/Mama_Mush wrote in the top comment on the post, which received nearly 40,000 upvotes. “[It’s] time for an ultimatum.
“[Either] he treats you as a financial equal or you leave and get alimony,” they added.
Redditor u/AffectionateHand2206, whose comment received over 12,000 upvotes, was more diligent in his response.
“As already mentioned, this is called fraud,” they wrote. “Take the children, go to your parents, have a beautiful Christmas without your husband and get a divorce.”
“You and [your] children are at the bottom of his priority list,” added Redditor u/9smalltowngirl, receiving nearly 4,000 positive votes. “It won’t change.”
“OP you are [Not the A******] and if you have another family to vacation with, do that instead,” Redditor u/pepperann007 chimed in.
Newsweek contacted zu/NoChristmas2022 for comment. We were unable to verify the details of the case.
Do you have a similar financial dilemma? Let us know via email@example.com. We can ask experts for advice and your story can be featured Newsweek.
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