Online commentators were disbelieved when one woman described a recent family controversy over a canceled wedding gift.
In a viral Reddit post posted on r / AmITheA ******, Redditor u / Relative_Attempt6316 (otherwise known as the original poster or OP) said she spent $ 700 on a gift for her sister-in-law’s wedding and the detailed hot aftermath of her decision to return it, when the wedding was canceled.
Entitled, “[Am I the a******] for canceling a wedding gift when the wedding is canceled? ” Post has received over 13,500 votes in favor and 1,500 comments since October 30.
– My husband’s sister was to get married in September – OP began. “AND [purchased] an item from the registry … so she knew exactly what I was planning. “
Continuing to explain that her sister-in-law and her partner broke up before the wedding, the original poster said that the gift she had purchased had yet to be delivered, so she canceled the deal.
The original poster also said that her sister-in-law and mother-in-law had contacted her about the gift, complaining that she should not have canceled it as it would ease the pain of a broken engagement.
“Since she knew I was buying it and we live far away, she was afraid that it was delivered, but someone stole it,” wrote the OP. “When I explained that I canceled it, she was very upset.
“My [mother-in-law] contacted us about this and thinks I was rude to cancel the order, ”continued the OP. “I have felt it since mine [sister-in-law] clearly going through a difficult period and [because] Holidays are approaching, it would be better if the gift reached her anyway.
“Obviously, these are unfortunate circumstances, but it was a substantial gift ($ 700) and well over the threshold of what I would normally spend on a typical Christmas gift,” OP added.
While much of the conversation around weddings revolves around the responsibilities of the married couple and those closest to them, it is often the guests’ responsibility to ensure that couples are well rewarded for their love and hospitality.
Wedding gifts, whether picked by hand or bought from the registry, are both an expression of thanks and a tangible expression of wishes to the newlyweds.
However, gifts can quickly become controversial as a result of certain wedding policies, overly high expectations and, worst of all, separation.
When an engaged couple split up before the wedding, it is customary to return all gifts to the sender, even if received at the pre-wedding events.
“Traditional etiquette says the couple should return all wedding gifts if they decide to cancel the celebration.” Here comes the guide Creative Director Jenna Miller said Newsweek.
“This includes cash gifts, personalized and monogrammed gifts, and even gifts received at a bachelorette or engagement party,” added Miller.
Like gifts received in the shower and at other gatherings, gifts not yet given are expected to remain as they are – even in scenarios like the one described in the original poster when the newly single sister-in-law and her mother believe Differently.
“In this case, the gift was purchased for a wedding that did not take place in the end” Gabriella Rello Duffyeditorial director of Brides said Newsweek.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a guest canceling a gift, especially considering it hasn’t been delivered yet,” added Duffy. “While it is understandable that a bride would be upset about a wedding that is no longer taking place, it is unreasonable to expect guests to still give a gift.”
Throughout the comments section of Reddit’s viral post, many Redditors shared this sentiment, defending the original broadcaster’s decision to cancel the purchase while calling on their sister-in-law.
“When the wedding is canceled, the bride and groom will politely return the wedding gifts,” wrote Redditor u / JustStephanie in the main comment of the post, which received nearly 28,000 votes. “This is the norm.
“Please don’t feel guilty about canceling your gift,” they added.
Redditor u / Jujulabee, whose comment received nearly 8,000 votes, offered a similar answer.
“When a wedding is canceled, you do not give a gift, and every gift RECEIVED is returned … these are gifts that are” contingent “on a condition – such as a wedding,” they wrote. “Pick me up for your sister-in-law is a gift card for a manicure or a mask. Not a $ 700 gift.
“It was a wedding gift from the wedding register, no [a] I feel sorry that my relationship is falling apart, agreed Redditor u / Long_Squash1762, receiving over 2,000 votes in favor.
“People don’t take” almost got married, but they didn’t get “gifts, Redditor u / ve3tiz interjected.
Newsweek contactedu / Relative_Attempt6316 for comment. We were unable to verify the details of the case.
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