A debate flared up on the Internet after a woman told her friend that she could keep the necklace her husband had given her.
Published on Reddit’s r / AmITheA ** hole forum, a woman named u / pluto902 shared her story to get feedback from the “AITA” community. The viral post has over 6,000 votes and 2,000 comments.
“My friend didn’t have a necklace to go with the dress, so I offered her one of mine,” OP began. “She kept telling me how much she loved the necklace, so I told her she could keep it because I never wear it anyway. I gave her the necklace 4 months ago but recently she wore it to another party and my sister-in-law mentioned that I had a necklace that looked exactly like this. A friend told her that I gave it to her and my sister-in-law commented that it was nice of me ”.
She thought she heard the end, but her sister-in-law told OP’s husband about it. He has “demanded” that she retrieve the necklace, and if she doesn’t do it within a week, he’ll take it into his own hands and get it back himself. She claimed she didn’t know what was going on and didn’t understand why people were p*ssed at her.
In the comments of the PO, she confirmed that it was not a souvenir, it was a gift from her husband and she did not know how much it cost him.
Newsweek contacted zu / pluto902 for comment.
Gift giving etiquette
Have you ever struggled with what to give to someone as a gift? According to allgiftsconsidered.com, here are some rules for gifting:
- When getting a gift for someone, don’t make it out of yourself.
- Think about that person’s interests and hobbies as this can help you find the perfect gift.
- Give the person a gift they can consume, including chocolate or a bottle of their favorite wine.
- Avoid “self-improvement” gifts, including “guides” and diet books.
- Instead of giving them a physical gift, give them coffee or lunch.
- When giving someone a gift, don’t expect anything in return.
- When buying gifts, do not exceed your budget.
Newsweek published several articles on relationship conflict, including how a woman was pressured to leave her relationship after paying for each meal, how the internet supports a woman’s relationship with her ex-brother and the man who was att*cked for taking a credit card your partner and without giving him away.
U / TheAshenDemon4 wrote, receiving the highest comment with over 12,000 votes in favor:[You’re the a**hole]even if you say it wasn’t a family memento, it was clearly valuable to HIM what he gave you, and probably quite expensive, and handing it to your friend without at least informing him in advance (four months and it’s clear you weren’t going to tell him because your friend did it) was insensitive.
“You had the right to give it back, I admit, but it’s really not fun to give gifts to your partner, who probably took a lot of effort and importance from him, without saying anything,” the uninterrupted commentator.
“[You’re the a**hole]. I would also be upset if I saw someone wearing the necklace I gave you. This is a great insult to the giver of the gift. This means that you are underestimating their gift. You may have just bought something similar for your friend, exclaimed u / Momo-kkun.
U / Vast-Perspective-236 commented: “[Not the a**hole]. If he gives her jewelry often, it wasn’t family related, it wasn’t celebrating an important event, and she obviously doesn’t wear it often. ? I would like to know what makes this necklace so special. Second, is it wasting money on frequent gifts? Surely, if you don’t like frequent jewelry gifts, the time, effort, and money that is diverted this way can be diverted to things that you appreciate more?
“[Not the a**hole]. Giving you an ultimatum about how long you’ll have to get the necklace back before he does something for himself is a huge red flag to me. It doesn’t sound like a gift or that your husband was hurt that you gave it away. It sounds like a control issue. It is more important to him to get your jewelry back than to know why you didn’t care about it in the beginning. He doesn’t care about the consequences of taking him away from a friend. Doesn’t sound like he’s giving you jewelry at all, u / ToadseyeGem noted.
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