Dear Abby: My younger sister, “Tish,” is adamant on settling our parents’ affairs.
He is in his 80s and is in excellent physical and mental health barring osteo-related issues.
Tish’s constant reminders make them feel like she is taking them to the grave.
My siblings and I appreciate his intentions and support his efforts to get our parents to finalize his system of trust, but it has gotten to a point where he starts selling his stuff. and is secretly throwing things away. Tish spends a lot of time looking at memorabilia and telling them to whom certain items should be given.
We are unable to control her, and if we disagree with her vision of how things should be handled, she becomes belligerent.
Should I be grateful for what she is doing and try to convince my parents that there is little for them to worry about? I don’t want to be “that” member of the family, but I’m afraid I’m becoming so.
looking in texas
Dear watching: Your parents are lucky to be in great health, but they should also realize what’s inevitable next.
You would be doing the whole family a favor if you told them that because Tish gets angry and belligerent if someone disagrees with him, he needs to talk to a lawyer who specializes in estate planning, who Will stop the struggle after his final passing. After that the ball is in their court.
Dear Abby: I’m a woman who, a while back, got a girlfriend, “Darlin.”
After meeting her, I thought that this is what love is like. But my old (bisexual) friend “Michelle” has made me feel differently.
I’ve known her since kindergarten, but recently I felt my heart beating and butterflies in my stomach just thinking about her. When Michelle does my nails and holds my hand to stabilize them, my knees feel weak.
I don’t feel the same way with Darlene, although I still care for her a lot. I don’t want to hurt his feelings by breaking up with him, but I think if I were single, Michelle might have considered going out with me.
Darlene’s feelings are extremely sensitive, and I want to have her as a friend. But being around Michelle makes me feel happier than ever.
Abby, this is driving me crazy. Do I risk hurting someone’s feelings, or should I be with Darlene and miss out on being with someone I love? Am I a bad girlfriend just by thinking of it?
love place in alaska
Dear lover: Your feelings are your feelings. You are not a “bad” girlfriend; You are a girlfriend who is ready to break up with Darlene.
Before making any announcements, verify with Michelle that your feelings are correlated. If they are, you have to tell Darlene that you want to see other people. Trust him to be hurt and perhaps angry, so be as gentle as you can when you tell him the news. It must be doing all three of you a favor.
Breakups, while painful, are a fact of life. People recover, and Darlene will be free to find someone who will love her in a way worthy of being loved.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.