Dear Abby: She Won’t Let Me Forget All My Mistakes

Dear Abby: I’m feeling like at war with my grandma.

He always took care of me and my younger brother and sister. She was there when we couldn’t be with our parents.

For a long time I was troubled and addicted. I admit that I have lost sight of who I really was. I had two sons that I didn’t raise, but now that I’m back and a year and three months clean, I’m enjoying my time with the son I still keep in touch with Am. I have always been with my grandmother.

Now that I’m in control of my life and getting to the point where I’m ready to walk away with my son, she’s fighting me. He has so many bad things to say about my past and so many things to throw in my face.

After so long I thought she would be happy for me. Instead, I am facing outright disrespect and ugliness. I always knew my grandma could be disgusting, but now it’s full volume.

Am I wrong to be with my son? I am tired of crying all the time over this.

break the cycle

Dear Breaking: Because of your history, your grandmother may fear for the welfare of her great-grandchildren. However, if you are clean, calm and able to take care of yourself and your baby without his help, then it is time to graduate to independence.

Tell your grandmother that you love her and are grateful for all the care she has given you. Then, if possible, proceed without burning any bridges.

Dear Abby: I have a friend for 30 years whom I have helped many times with advice and money. He is often harsh and short-tempered.

I never expected anything in return, but his behavior has often made me turn the other cheek.

Recently he had a collection of auto parts which he was going to sell. When I asked if I could buy some of them, he declined because he wanted to sell the parts as a group. I was disappointed. It was the first time in 30 years I’d asked him for a favor, but again, I turned the other cheek.

I came to know recently that he gave away all the auto parts to his neighbors for free. I asked him about it but I didn’t want to make a big deal about it as I didn’t want any argument. He shrugged it off like it was nothing.

I was shocked because he always has financial problems, so it was shocking to give me parts for free instead of selling some.

Should I ignore it or is it time to end the friendship?

disappointed in michigan

Dear Disappointed: The person you described is not and never was your friend.

He refused to buy you auto parts because he wanted to charge you more for the complete kit and caboodle. When there was no one else to take, he threw them at whoever would take them.

You have been a helpful friend, and your reward was being treated rudely. In any case, put an end to this one-sided system. Next time he asks you for something – and he will – feel free to refuse.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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