Harriet Cole: They’re Crying To Get Into College And I Don’t Know What To Do

Dear Harriet: My daughter and her friends are stressing about what they are waiting to find out which colleges will accept them.

Harriet Cole

Many of them did not get through the initial decision process to the school of their first choice and are waiting for other decisions. Every time someone is rejected, they shed a lot of tears.

I don’t know how to support my daughter or her friends. I keep telling her that it will all be okay, but it doesn’t seem to be much consoling.

nail biting time

Dear Nail Biting Time: be a good listener. Tell your daughter what’s going on, and do your best to keep quiet.

You can’t guarantee anything during this process, so don’t promise anything. Give her a hug if she welcomes them. Show her that you love and support her. When he finds out about the schools on his list, be there with him. If he’s emotional, let him go through it.

You can also express your feelings. Now is not the time to be woody or cold. Be yourself and be a strong parent.

Remember that everything will be fine by May. It sounds far away, but it will be here in the blink of an eye.

Dear Harriet: My assistant is doing well at work, so I offered her a promotion and a 20% pay increase. I was shocked and disappointed by his response.

She said that she felt the increase was not enough and that she deserved much more.

I run a small business and I don’t have much to offer. I don’t know if all my current contracts will work out, so I need to have large savings to pay for all the expenses I incur in running the business.

I know that many companies, including companies much larger than me, do not offer an increase in cost of living on a regular basis, let alone 20%. I can’t go higher, nor do I think he deserves it. But I also don’t want disgruntled employees.

How should I handle this?


Dear Disappointed: Sit down with your assistant and remind her how much you value her. So you offered him both a promotion and a big raise.

Acknowledge that you know he is not satisfied with your offer. Share with him insights about the job trends in our country so that he can get a little perspective on his position. For example, in 2019, the US government’s cost of living for Social Security was 2.8%. Many corporations pay employees the same amount. According to Indeed.com, the average growth these days is 4.5-6%, so 20% would be considered extraordinary.

That said, it might not have looked so good if the basic pay was lower. It can take time for a small starting salary to grow to a comfortable figure.

For anyone who is looking to request a promotion or raise right now, you’ll want to take several factors into account – prepare a presentation to demonstrate the obvious reasons to honestly consider whether or not you’re qualified. You’re ready, and go in with confidence. Here are more suggestions: really.com/career-advice/pay-salary/what-is-a-reasonable-raise,

Harriet Cole is a Lifestylist and the founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people reach and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or Andrews McMichael Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.