DEAR HARRIETTO: Lately I go out alone on the weekends. Going to clubs, restaurants, bars, movies, etc. was empowering and somewhat therapeutic for me. I feel independent and self-sufficient knowing that I don’t need anyone else to have fun.
Interestingly, I meet more people when I’m alone than when I’m out with friends.
The only thing I’m worried about is my safety. I’m 25 years old and live in a big city which can be a bit dangerous at times. How can I keep myself safe when I’m alone?
EXPENSIVE WORKING SOLID: It’s good that you live on your own terms. It’s smart that you want to be careful.
Most of the advice I have for you would apply even if you were with someone else, but here are a few things to keep in mind.
Don’t accept drinks from people you don’t know. Order a drink yourself and watch the bartender pour it and serve it. If you put your drink down and look away, the drink is no longer yours, period. Don’t get high. Keep your sanity.
Don’t be the last person to leave the event. Use a car service if the parking lot is too far to walk comfortably from the event venue. Ask the maitre d’ or party attendant to escort you to your car.
Do not carry bulky packages, do not wear bulky shoes or clothes that are too flashy. Present yourself modestly so as not to attract suspicious attention. Remember, this doesn’t mean you should look unkempt. Make sure how you look matches how you want to present yourself.
If you have a friend or confidant you can tell where you’re going or share your location with a smart device, do so so you’re not all alone.
Finally, always make sure your phone is fully charged before leaving home.
DEAR HARRIETTO: My husband is a great conspiracy theorist. He watches these shows and then comes in to tell me all the half-baked stories he’s heard about End of Days, aliens, and other extreme things he thinks are happening in the world.
I have no interest in hearing this. This frustrates me, but he insists that I sit down with him and listen to what he just watched for hours on YouTube.
I had enough. When I push away, he pouts. How can I keep my sanity when he seems to be losing it?
You need a firewall
GUYS, YOU NEED A FIREWALL: Give your husband half an hour of your time on a schedule when he can take whatever he needs to get off the breast. You can endure this time, but you have to make it stick to the schedule.
Make it clear to him that you are not interested in these things, but are willing to listen to him for a short time as long as he will honor your agreement to the time limits. If he comes up or invades your space when you’re not interested in commitment, cut him off and tell him this is not the time for his stories. He’ll get mad, but if you get up and walk away to enforce your limits, he’ll get over it in time.
Harriette Cole is a lifestyle stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. Questions can be directed to firstname.lastname@example.org or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
#safe #big #city