The Internet was quick to show support for an employee who lamented the need to announce an office romance in a viral post on Wednesday.
In a Reddit post, “Do Not Declare: An Office Romance Went,” Redditor u/lvndrlight details the adversities she and her boyfriend have faced since announcing their office relationship to her company’s human resources department last January. Gave. Initially posted to Reddit’s popular r/antiworks subreddit, Viral Post It has garnered 46,700 votes and over 1,500 comments in just eight hours.
Revealing that they began dating her boyfriend in November, 2020, the Redditor said the couple was spotted at a grocery store by a manager at their company, and the manager encouraged them to “do the right thing” and announced its relationship with HR. , After announcing the relationship, u/lvndrlight stated that the only HR employee at his company (the company’s longest-serving employee) displayed passive-aggressive behavior toward him, including numerous nasty looks and an informal warning Which encourages Redditors and their boyfriends to adopt. Employees take unpaid lunch breaks separately, instead of eating together in the parking lot.
u/lvndrlight also said that both she and her boyfriend are subject to face-to-face meetings about the “optics” of their relationship, and that management told the couple that “perception is everything.”
While many employers have policies in place outlining expectations for office romance, this is not the case. Law which regulates or restricts workplace relations.
According to a survey released by Society for Human Resource Management In 2020, 54 percent of American workers reported romantic feelings for a coworker, and 27 percent had an official workplace romance. Of those workers who reported having an official workplace romance, 27 percent reported dating someone higher up in their organization, 20 percent dating a subordinate and 53 percent saying they had a coworker on the same level as theirs. dated.
Taylor, Jr., CEO of the Society for Human Resource Management, said in a statement that it’s nearly impossible to stop workplace romance, and employers need to adapt to accommodate the inevitable.
“Employers simply can’t deny the reality of romance within the workplace,” said Taylor, Jr. “Instead, they should reflect on their culture and ensure that their approach is current, realistic, and balanced, which protects employees while leaving them free to romance responsibly.”
Through anti-fraternity policies and other policies designed to limit public displays of affection, employers are able to maintain a level of control over workplace romance without violating any legal boundaries. However, u/lvndrlight said that beyond dirty looks and passive-aggression, her employer used their relationship to deny her and her boyfriend promotions and other advancement opportunities.
She wrote, “My boyfriend spoke to his manager about the promotion earlier this week and apparently his ‘performance was excellent’ and he was ‘exceeding expectations’.” “But he is being denied the lead role because of the ‘supporting material’.”
“Aka dating us,” he said.
u/lvndrlight said he too has been barred from being promoted.
“I am being prevented from moving into an open position that will advance my career even though I have all the qualifications and work experience they require,” the Redditor wrote. “I am also not allowed to apply, as the application requires the signature of my manager.”
Concluding their original post by explaining that their relationship has grown stronger despite the adversities of the workplace, u/lvndrlight caught the attention of thousands of Redditors offering support and advice.
In the top comment of the post, which garnered 10,400 votes, Redditor u/ablackcatstail encouraged both the original poster and her boyfriend to start looking for new jobs.
“You both need to find better jobs as soon as possible!” they wrote.
Redditor u/7dayweekendgirl, who said she met her husband at work, told the story of their accidental meeting and asked u/lvndrlight to put their priorities in order.
“Our relationship was later kicked out by another employee, my future husband’s contract not being renewed,” she wrote. “We are still together after 15 years. Your life and happiness are more important than your job.”
Like u/ablackcatstail and u/7dayweekendgirl, several Redditors advised the original poster to seek employment elsewhere. Responding to a handful of commenters, u/lvndrlight acknowledged the prospect of finding a new job, but said that dealing with their current work environment already requires most of the couple’s energy.
“I think it’s impossible for us to live a life outside of work,” he wrote. “We put in our 8 hours/day, then move on to dread the remaining 16 hours of the workday going on and on about the next.”
“It’s very dry,” he said.
newsweek Contacted u/lvndrlight for comment.