One man learned after visiting Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole” that his parents, who encouraged him to attend a state university to save money, had been living with his sister in an expensive institution. Tuition fees were likely to be paid.
In u/parents_lead__’s post, which received nearly 10,000 interactions, explained that they were expected to earn solid grades while engaging in extra-curricular activities. He said his parents even told him which prestigious schools his peers attended.
u/parents_lied__ also explained the two acronyms at the beginning of the post. “HYPSM” is translated at Harvard, Yale, Princeton Stanford, Massachusetts Institute of Technology. “FAANG” meant Facebook, Amazon, Apple, Netflix, Google.
After working hard throughout high school, u/parents_lied__ wrote that she was accepted into one of the schools with the abbreviation HYPSM.
“I thought my parents would be just as excited as me, but imagine my shock when they said, ‘We think you should attend (state school) instead because it’s so cheap and your major ( computer science). As HYPSM. We earn X per month, mortgage is Y per month, so we have to support family at Z per month. Where do you have money to participate in HYPSM are?'” the Redditor recalled telling her parents.
His parents allowed him to calculate the budget, and when he learned that their numbers had increased, he decided to attend a state school for his undergraduate and graduate degrees.
“I currently work at FAANG, which means I will be able to pay off my student loans relatively quickly,” wrote u/parents_lied__. “My parents said they would pay the difference when I took out the maximum federal loan per school year.”
Her sister called her recently and said that she has been accepted for one of the HYPSM. When asked if his parents would tell him he needed to decline the offer because of cost, he said that his father had told him not to worry about tuition.
u/parents_lied__ felt that his father, who worked in a separate “FAANG”, was entitled to hold shares of the company. He wrote that he believed that his father would have sold some of the shares to pay for his sister’s tuition.
“The next time my parents Facetime me I asked them why they weren’t ready to sell some of my dad’s shares when he was accepted into HYPSM,” wrote u/parents_lied__. “They clearly got stressed out and said something about how their financial decisions weren’t of my use.”
In a fit of rage, u/parents_lied__ told him that he wouldn’t talk to her anymore.
She wrote that she could be mistaken for confrontation because she is in a good financial position, but several commentators wrote that her parents showed favoritism towards her sister.
BetterHelp. an excerpt published by Discussed the effects of favoritism on a family.
“Prejudice can cause a child to have anger or behavior problems, increased levels of depression, a lack of self-confidence and a refusal to interact well with others,” the article states.
A child who was favored by a parent may exhibit these issues, as well as a child who was not favored.
“What I’m hearing is that it’s not about college choice or financial choice, but a clear bias towards your sister,” commented U/Yukon-Don, which received over 12,000 votes.
The commentator spoke about his personal experience with partisanship and wrote that it took him a long time to forgive his family.
Some wrote that the matter was not about money or tuition, but the fact that your parents’ parents were not honest with that.
“Being in a better financial position than others your age is a separate issue,” commented u/loginorregister9. “Lying is lying, no matter what your position compares to others. It’s terrible to push you and then pull the rug.”
u/flubbymagic reported that u/parents_lied__’s parents pressured him to take admission in a reputed school before telling him that he would not be able to attend.
“There was a clear expectation that he might be trying to get into one of those schools, but then when he did, they lied to him to go somewhere else,” remarked u/_higletti.
newsweek Contacted u/parents_lied__ but did not hear back in time for publication.