Thousands of commenters vehemently disagreed with an Internet poster on Friday when she explained why she doesn’t want her boyfriend to serve as her best friend’s best man for her upcoming wedding.
Posted on Reddit’s popular r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/aitaconflicted1234’s explanation has garnered more than 7,200 votes and 3,000 comments in just 13 hours. Title “AITA my boyfriend to not be his best friend’s best man at his wedding?”, Viral Post Got the attention of Reddit users – many of whom felt strongly about u/aitaconflicted1234 and its prime demand.
Explaining that she is pregnant and that she and her boyfriend are excited for the arrival of their baby, the original poster states that a conflict recently arose when her boyfriend was asked to be the best friend of his best friend at her wedding in May. Was told to be a good man. The Redditor claims that the couple used to be close, but the soon-to-be groom’s fiancé went with personal information behind his back, saying he felt “betrayed” by her.
u/aitaconflicted1234 says her boyfriend wants to be her best friend’s best man, and has expressed how important it is to her. Despite the original poster not attending the wedding party, her boyfriend offered to bring her to the wedding if any problems arose with her pregnancy – but u/aitaconflicted1234 refused.
“I told her I’m not going to sit down and watch someone who cheated on me, celebrate love,” she wrote. “I lost it and told him that if I’m not going to the wedding, he shouldn’t be his best man and I should prioritize having more kids.”
She said, “It would be awkward for his fiancé if I went, and his best friend could find someone else to be his best man.”
According to brides.com, the best man acts as “the groom’s right hand throughout the planning process and on the wedding day”. In a rough list of the best male duties, Bridal Magazine compiled everything attributed to the groom’s closest confidant—before and during the wedding.
From assisting with outfit details to planning the bachelor party, the best man plays a vital role in the weeks and months leading up to weddings. However, the big day is what matters most. On the wedding day, Brides.com recommends that the best man be responsible for keeping the bride and groom’s men on time, holding the rings, giving toasts during the reception, and completing any cleaning or organization returns. The marriage is over.
Although the title “best man” carries a lot of weight on the wedding day, many responsibilities and obligations can present problems for best men whose partners are not members of the wedding parties. in an article published by lovableIn , writer Kelly Khalil wrote that “it’s a lot of fun to be known as a plus one in marriage—unless your date is at a wedding party. Then, it can put you in a very awkward position.”
Despite Lovely’s list of recommendations for people whose partners are at wedding parties when they are not, u/conflicteddata1234 was adamant that they would not attend the wedding because of their issues with the bride-to-be, And made it clear that she wanted him. Lovers also to stay away.
Stating that she sought multiple opinions, u/conflictedaita1234 said her friends understood her reasoning, but eventually disagreed.
“I told this to some of my friends, and they said that although pregnancy is important to her, I should move on from the drama and let her be there for my best friend’s big day,” she wrote.
In the post’s top comment, which garnered over 28.5K votes, Redditor u/NUT-me-SHELL echoed those sentiments, and called out the original poster directly.
,[You’re the a**hole]”You can sit at home pregnant and pee, but you have no right to tell your boyfriend that he can’t be the best man at his best friend’s wedding.”
Redditor u/Temporary_Badger said that the original poster’s demand that her boyfriend not be her best friend’s best man was an attempt to control her, and that it was a misdirection of anger.
“It’s a best friend’s wedding, and his best friend hasn’t done sh*t with you. You refuse to go to the wedding, but think he shouldn’t be the best man at a wedding where you’re not are,” he wrote, calling the maneuver “controlled and childish.”
While several Redditors rebuked u/conflictedaita1234, one commenter said her demand was a possible precursor to a future relationship problem, and encouraged her to find an alternative solution.
“If you don’t want to go to the wedding, that’s fine, but stop being the micro-manager of his friendship… Controlling isn’t cute, and it’s long-term poison to a relationship,” wrote Redditor u/FilthyDaemon Wrote.
“Book yourself a spa day to enjoy yourself, but don’t do it,” he said.