On the advice of therapists, friends, and her older sister, Kim Kardashian said she waited six months before introducing her new boyfriend, Pete Davidson, to her four children with Kanye West.
Some practitioners say that parents should wait longer than this to introduce a new partner into their children’s lives. Other experts say six months is fine – at least – but introducing babies to a new partner should only happen under certain conditions.
During an appearance on the “Today” show, the 41-year-old reality TV star and makeup mogul said she had been dating the 28-year-old “Saturday Night Live” comedian for six months before she let him spend time with her. Four children, North, 9, Saint, 6, Chicago, 4, and Psalm, 3.
“Luckily I have a sister who’s been through it all and we talked about it,” Kardashian said, referring to her older sister, Kourtney Kardashian, who is raising three kids with her ex-boyfriend, Scott Disick. Shares, and who married rocker Travis Barker. A grand wedding in Italy last month.
we are catching up @Kim Kardashian About her relationship with Pete Davidson dressed as Marilyn Monroe, her latest business project that’s been years in the making and more! pic.twitter.com/Chsz8cK5FW
— TODAY (@TODAYshow) 21 June 2022
“I consulted with a few therapists and friends who have been through this,” Kardashian said. “I definitely wanted to wait six months. That was the marker.”
The reality star said that “different things work for different people,” explaining, “You just have to do what’s right and try to be as respectful and cautious as possible.”
Indeed, therapists on divorce and parenting sites agree that parents need to be sensitive, careful, and respectful.
That’s because children are often unwilling to move on after their parents divorce, at least not at the same pace as their parents, wrote psychologist Ann Gold Bushow. in a column Last month for Psychology Today. They may continue to hope that their parents will reconcile and may have a hard time trying to rebuild the family with their mother or father with a new partner.
“When drafting parenting plans with divorcing parents, I often suggest waiting until the new relationship is a committed relationship of at least nine to 12 months’ duration, after the divorce is over,” Busco, author of “The Parent’s Guide to Birdnesting: A Child-Centered Solution for Co-parenting During Separation and Divorce.”
Busho said many parents oppose the recommendation, but added that waiting gives children time to grieve the loss of a family they knew. It also gives everyone time to adjust to the new parenting schedule.
The longer a relationship lasts, the more likely it is to happen, Buscho said. Most dating relationships end before nine months or a year.
“If your new relationship doesn’t work out, it will be another loss for your kids, especially if they’re attached to your new partner,” Busho continued. “Exposing your children early to a new love means your children are going to suffer one loss after another. Over time, the loss can lead to your children’s future mental health and well-being, success in relationships and can affect your relationship with them.”
Aaron Welch, a Florida physician, agreed that children can connect with new people in their lives, which is why it’s important for parents to wait long enough until they and their new partner commit. Children need stability — not to be exposed to the serial dating adventures of parents, Welch and others said. in an interview With a publication for divorced fathers, Welch also said that parents should not assume that children will be as excited as they are about their new love.
“The tendency is to get very excited that you’ve met someone you really like — especially after a difficult divorce,” Welch said. “Because of that enthusiasm, people are confident that their children will share the same sentiment.”
“What’s the rush?” Asked Licensed Therapist and Writer Terry Gaspard In a column for DivorceMag.com, “Even if the two of you are in love and seem to have a lot in common, breakups are common and kids get caught in the crossfire.”
Children may also see a parent’s new boyfriend or girlfriend as a rival to the parent’s attention, especially if the child is still experiencing feelings of anger or sadness after the divorce. “If you introduce your kids to someone you’re casually dating, it could complicate their adjustment to your divorce,” Gaspard said.
When it comes time to bring new partners and kids together, Gaspard said it’s best to keep initial meetings short and casual and with few expectations. Certainly, be careful about letting your new partner stay in your house overnight, Gaspard said. “Your new partner should only be an option to spend the night with when you’re absolutely sure your relationship is permanent or that you’re engaged,” Gaspard said.
If Kardashian has really been careful about how she’s integrating Davidson into her kids’ lives, it may be the best sign that she and the comedian are committed to something in the long run. Over the past few months, Davidson has also been photographed in public with some children. TMZ said he and North were spotted hanging out in a golf cart in April — six months after he and North’s mother were romantically linked for the first time. Recently, he was photographed shopping St. at a Los Angeles-area Walmart.
Meanwhile, Kardashian and West have made peace since earlier this year, when the rapper went on vicious social media rants, threatened to hurt Davidson and claimed Kardashian was trying to keep her kids away from him. was.
“Everything is going well,” Kardashian said on the “Today” show.
After West was banned from Instagram in March, he and Kardashian began communicating privately again about issues related to their co-parenting, TMZ reported this week, TMZ said Kardashian and West both attended North’s basketball game over the weekend. While they did not sit together at the game, they reportedly went to and from the game with North. West also joined her children and Kardashian’s family for Father’s Day celebrations, Kardashian said on “Today.”