A relationship coach has created a flutter online by claiming that men don’t want to listen to their partner’s opinion.
Ellen Schultz, 48, known as @drellenlovecoach on TikTok, is a self-described love coach who uses her platform to offer advice on how to be a happy wife with a happy life.
First Ph.D. After working in Applied Theater and as a drama therapist, Schultz decided to turn his hand to relationship coaching after beginning his research after a series of failed relationships.
She started posting relationship advice online and rapidly switched the role to one side – and just before the lockdown hit in 2020, she decided to become a full-time love coach.
“The point is that the crux of my work can be controversial and provocative,” Schultz said.
“Of course, your husband wants to hear your thoughts and views on the world; we want to be able to have these lengthy philosophical discussions, but because the woman is in this competitive defensive dynamic with her man, it can very quickly spiral into a conflict. Is .
“While women are fighting patriarchy on a collective basis, women are also fighting with their husbands and fathers on an individual level.”
Schultz, who hails from Belfast, Northern Ireland, began seeing the dynamics of relationships between men and women after a series of heartbreaks in her twenties and early thirties.
as a fan of sex and the CityShe says that she was influenced by the show’s ideas and believed that they should be able to find a devoted partner just by going out, and that together they could live happily ever after.
After becoming a single mom in her twenties and then in her early thirties, she began to wonder what the problem was and began using books, online courses, and webinars to find the missing pieces in her relationships.
She explored issues related to her behavior and mindset in relationships. So when she reconnected with a former co-worker she’d known for 10 years, she realized she was ready for the relationship she’s always wanted.
However, after Schultz married in 2013 after a year-long relationship and engagement, she found that they were getting into fights and arguments after the wedding, and she struggled to understand why.
Schultz decided to look back into relationship books and courses and even work with relationship trainers — and then she realized it was something she could do herself.
With a background in theatre, she knew she was confident on camera and began sharing relationship material on Facebook as a side hustle in August 2018 before becoming a full-time love coach in October 2018.
Now, she uses TikTok to create videos focusing on relationships, especially how to be a happy wife with a happy life.
One of his recent videos takes a somewhat controversial approach by claiming that men don’t want to hear their partner’s opinion on world affairs or politics. This may make it more powerful for women to stop arguing with their husbands.
“There are a few different ways of looking at it because it’s actually quite a complex approach — it’s not what you’re saying, it’s how you’re saying it,” Schultz said.
“Many women, through social programming, feminism, and their childhoods, feel the need to break out of the oppression that has happened – they have been suppressed, abused, abused, and Come through decades and decades of fighting patriarchy and misogyny.
“Little girls are taught that they have to be tough, which is true, but by the time we get into our twenties and beyond, we have this real strong kind of armor that says ‘don’t mess with me. , I’m tough, I’m furious, I’m furious.
“Then when we find ourselves in a romantic relationship, we are inadvertently insulting and disrespecting the man because we have become too masculine and they have become feminine – they don’t know what their role is in the relationship. Men do not know, and women do not know.
“Women find themselves extremely frustrated – she is doing everything, planning vacations, scheduling, working full-time, taking care of the house, and it started in the dating period when she was organizing dates, picking her up, and buying her gifts.
“They find themselves in a Catch-22 role, and it’s hard enough to get themselves back into the feminine role – we don’t understand why we ended up with this guy who isn’t a hottie, and we are Was asking why he’s lying on the couch playing video games all the time.
“It’s our energies and behaviors that are keeping it up and taking it away – a manly man is going to argue back, and he wants to be right.
“We want to be able to explore our vulnerability and show it to our man in a way that inspires his devotion to us, leading him into a masculine leadership role.
“It comes down to masculine and feminine energies – if you have two masculine energies in a relationship, it can lead to a lot of conflict and competition; we need polarity for chemistry and passion, and when If it’s not, it can be dull, boring, living with your roommate vibe, and this is when affairs can happen.
“We have the mother energy. We own her, her secretary, her CEO, and so often, we’re so inundated with ideas about what she wears, what she eats, and being friends with her, we’re just being unbelievable. visibly strong.
“Most men love a woman who can speak for herself and who has a voice. It’s something a man is really attracted to, but when directed against him, that’s what happens.” .
“It’s also a lot to do with self-worth—really opinionated women want to be right and have the last word, but you don’t always have the last word when talking to your husband about something.
“Often these women have trauma, and low self-worth – our nervous system is very active, and we don’t feel safe within ourselves, but trauma treatment and inner-pediatrics can help.
“A big caveat to this is that my advice doesn’t apply to women in abusive situations, if any physical abuse occurs, get out and get help right away – there are a lot of gray areas in abusive relationships, professional guidance.” Get more help.”
This story was provided to Greeley Tribune zengar news,