A teenager planning her prom – with photographers, flashy cars and elaborate taffeta dresses – seems almost wrapped up in the event as if an eager bride is making arrangements for her wedding day.
And while it may be a chance to spend time with friends and celebrate the end of the school year, social media means teens are putting pressure on themselves to have the perfect, Instagram-worthy day.
One mom even branded her daughter “Promzilla” online, with Mumsnet users sharing stories of teens who created prom mood boards, scraped cash together for limos, and who paid “homage” to her entire family. to see him before the incident. him on his big night.”
talking to newsweekParenting coach, broadcaster and author Sue Atkins reveals why so many teens feel anxious about the ideal prom, and her advice for making the entire day go smoothly.
“Young people feel the need to be accepted by a group of their peers and prom plays into such a dream of acceptance and belonging and throws the teens into a frenzy of taffeta and corsage,” she explained.
“Then you add in the idea of rom-com movies, they’re all kind of romanticized to go into a prom, Cinderella story. Then you add in Instagram and you get prom jealousy and a whole host of problems.
“As a parent, it’s important to manage their expectations. Hair, clothes, shoes, manicures, limos, tickets, photos, after parties, then there’s a real pressure on you. As well as the finances of it all. It’s a complicated thing, add in hormones, and you have a lot on your plate.”
Here, Atkins reveals her top tips on how to reduce the pressure on your teen for the ideal prom and ensure they have a safe and enjoyable day.
Minimize the hype, but don’t make fun of the opportunity
While parents may assume that prom is less important than their child’s, Atkins advises never to make fun of their enthusiasm or passion, instead trying to focus on the real experiences that they have. They can get from the event.
“It’s an opportunity to say goodbye to some people and have fun,” she said. “Keep its values up, not the hype about hair. Of course kids want to do that, so don’t brag about it and be totally prepared about it, but try and help them see that it’s something that matters.” The only part of doing is talking about the thing that’s important, which is creating memories that last a lifetime.
“Set a budget for your child. It helps. It can really escalate and get out of hand in these tough times. It’s a special day, you’re going to make lovely memories, make sure you Remember them and talk about what’s important around it.”
While it can be frustrating to see your teen fantasize about an unattainable, glamorized version of the event, Atkins says the best way to deal with the problem is as a gentle reminder to keep things in perspective.
She explained: “It’s hard, it’s the same with weddings, people cheering everyone on with flowers and horse-drawn carriages, you forget what you’re doing. That’s the time to put your kids on that. It’s a good idea not to lecture about stuff, but talk about it in the lead ups and help them manage those expectations.
“Help you manage the hype without being frivolous about it, do it while you’re driving or eating dinner or walking the dog. Ask open-ended questions about things and you’re going to slow down.” -Can slowly put some wisdom around it, which will help a little to get them off the ground.
“Talk about the hype, Instagram, how it can get out of hand and try to help them manage it. It’s really a problem, usually young people compare themselves on social media. Use every opportunity to pass on your values or your knowledge of life, to put it in perspective.
“We like to mark and have a right to pass, these are all transitional moments, but put them in perspective and the only way to really do that is to talk to your kids and not.”
Know about the plan
Before the big day, make sure both you and your teen know what will happen at each stage of the day to avoid any worries about the event.
“What time does prom start and what time does it end? Are you already going to dinner, is there dinner at prom? Where are you meeting your friends? Are there other adults watching? How will you be?” Happening at prom or from party or after party?
“Know all the hotspots if you can, do some research with the parents who will be there. It’s all about talking or communicating and listening.”
prepare your teen
Atkins advises that if you want to get your teen out of a difficult situation quickly, have some sort of code with him.
“It can get out of hand quickly if they all get excited,” she said. “Maybe you have a code your child can send if it all gets out of hand, or other people have too much to drink. Take something that means: ‘Can you come over? are and can take me
“Don’t fuss about it, don’t make a big deal, just say: ‘I’ll be there in five minutes’. Find out who’s driving, sometimes they get excited while driving and text or share Can take pictures, so it’s best to take a local cab company.”
discuss the results
While parents should not dampen their children’s enthusiasm at the event, it is beneficial to discuss the consequences of things like alcohol before the event.
Atkins said: “You don’t want to be an idiot, but this is a really good opportunity to talk about your baby and safety and how to get out of a sticky situation.
“Teenagers don’t see dangers, they only see fun, try and talk to them about what will happen, talk to other adults, other parents.
“Maybe before your prom goer is safely home so that you’re around to answer a text or call and find out how cool it was, who it was, why it was cute, they had that experience for you.” Let’s share.”