Members of a popular online forum endorsed one mother who stepped out of her sister’s bridesmaid role after her boyfriend and children were not invited to the wedding.
In a viral Reddit post posted on r / AmITheA ******, Redditor u / TArelgioussister (otherwise known as the original poster or OP) said she was ready to serve as her older sister’s right hand on her wedding day, but revealed how a change of heart ruined it all in an instant.
Entitled, “[Am I the a******] for refusing to be my sister [maid of honor] after she said I couldn’t bring mine [boyfriend] 10 years old and my children for her wedding because we are not married? ” Post Last day, it received over 12,200 votes in favor and 1,800 comments.
“I have an older sister … Nina, who is getting married,” OP began. “He’s 16[-year-old] and 5[-year-old] from her previous relationship. “
Continuing to explain that her sister’s wedding was two weeks away, OP said she was originally asked to serve as a bridesmaid and spent months getting ready for the big day.
However, last week, OP said she was infuriated to discover that her boyfriend and the couple’s two children had not been invited to the wedding – at her sister’s request.
“She said she was uncomfortable having my … [boyfriend] at her wedding, because we are still not married, and because the twins were born out of wedlock, they cannot come, ”wrote OP.
“I was furious and reminded her that she herself has [two] children who were born “out of wedlock” … and she is currently pregnant with another, “OP continued. “Nina said she” understood her sins and works to redeem them, “but her word is final.
“So [I]along [a] several other bridesmaids withdrew from the wedding and told her we would not come because Nina chose not to invite our boyfriends and children, ”OP added.
Being a bridesmaid of honor at any wedding, whether related to the bride or not, is no small feat.
But, as the saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility.
While bridesmaids shouldn’t be at the bride’s every cue, they should be available for emotional support during the wedding planning process and can play a major role in ensuring morale stays high at all times, in line with Amorology, Luxury Event Coordination and Styling Company.
The brides of honor are usually responsible for many things on the wedding day as well, including picking up the bride’s dress to avoid damage or staining, and a much-anticipated toast that is sure to be burned into the minds of guests for years to come.
However, due to the tremendous responsibility and high expectations of a bridesmaid title, existing relationships can quickly become complicated, especially when it is a family member entrusted with serving as the bride’s right hand.
“One of the most important things you can do with a family member who has become a bridesmaid of honor is set expectations.” Amorology He said Newsweek. “Make sure you are both on the same page.
“You also want to make sure that as a bride you don’t take advantage of yours [maid of honor]”They added. “Remember that this is also a big undertaking for them. It is important to be grateful to them because they stand by your side and support you on your greatest day. “
But even the closest ties can be breached in these situations, and sometimes require mediation to move forward.
“If despite established expectations, things [still turn] controversial, it would be good to sit down and have an honest conversation, ”added Amorology. “Helping another family member to be the neutral side is also helpful to make sure both sides are heard.
“After all, your relationship with a family member before marriage is paramount and should remain the same throughout the experience,” they said.
Unfortunately, prioritizing family relationships over marriage does not always happen, and in circumstances such as OP, some family members may be completely excluded from wedding plans.
Throughout the comments section on a viral Reddit post, many Redditors backed OP’s decision to drop their sister’s wedding, slapping her sister for not inviting her boyfriend and kids.
“[Not the a******]- Redditor u / Sizzleteeen commented, receiving over 6,600 votes.
“I can’t imagine the thought process behind something like this,” they continued. “They fully planned and paid for the wedding for x guests and then they just randomly tell people they are unwelcome?”
Redditor u / Targa85, whose comment received almost 3,000 votes in favor, echoed this sentiment.
“It’s cruel of her. Especially the last minute withdrawal of the invitation, ”they wrote. “Good for you that you don’t go, you stick to your partner and your kids.”
“She’s not inviting her [maid of honor’s] the partner and children two weeks before the wedding complain that you are [the a******] because there is not enough time to adjust things? ” Redditor u / mdthomas contested, receiving over 2,000 votes in favor. “Consequences of her own actions.”
“I’m not inviting yours [boyfriend] after 10 years it’s bad enough, ”said Redditor u / Spirit_Falcon. “But not inviting her flesh and blood (your twins) just because their parents are not married is so judgmental and hypocritical.”
Newsweek I contacted u / TAreligioussister for a comment. We were unable to verify the details of the case.
Did the wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via firstname.lastname@example.org. We can ask experts for advice and your story can be presented on Newsweek.
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