Members of a popular Internet forum stood behind a teen who asked why he could no longer be a part of his mom’s new family.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Fun_Reindeer_4743 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or the OP) said that he completely forgot about his mother being “joy and proud” and Went to remember the events. Who decided to leave his family completely.
title, “[Am I the a**hole] To say why I don’t want to visit my mom, because it hurts to see her happy with her new family?” Post It has garnered over 8,000 votes and nearly 1,000 comments in the last day.
Writing that he was “deeply close” to his mother until the age of 9, when he had an affair and moved in with another man, the now 17-year-old original poster said he tried to make the new arrangement work. But it was overshadowed at every turn.
“As my mom’s husband’s ex-wife had nothing to do with their 3 kids…my mom started spending more time with [with them]OP wrote. “She acted more like a mother to him sometimes than me.”
“She celebrated her birthday while she was just a guest,” Opie continued. “She never tried more than the minimum when she wasn’t [custodial] Time.”
Noting that her mother made an effort to keep their relationship afloat, the original poster acknowledged that scars were already forming and, ultimately, that it was not beneficial for her to spend time at her home with her husband and step-children.
“It’s not healthy for me to be at her house, it hurts so much when I’m there,” the OP wrote. “It sucks to see them play the happy family and even though her husband has treated me well, I see nothing but the man who destroyed my house and hurt my father.”
,[I] Told her it’s not healthy for me to stay at her house because it hurts me,” the OP continued. “I told her I was never coming back. [and] I also said that we cannot have a relationship as long as he is in this family.”
The OP said, “He said he never meant to make me feel different.” “But I made my choice.”
When parents remarry, children are often thrown into an unfamiliar living arrangement, sometimes with new siblings—always with the authority of a new parent.
And while some blended families get into the lottery and come together painlessly, issues with step-siblings and step-parents are almost universal.
In non-mixed families, sibling rivalry is expected and arises from a myriad of sources, namely attention, or lack thereof. However, where biological siblings fight over the attention of their shared parent, half-siblings are foreign enemies fighting for the attention of the parent who previously cared for them.
“In a blended family, everyone is still getting to know each other,” reports Healthline. “You may not have an underlying sense of love or loyalty buried under the pique and push for status.”
During his viral Reddit post, the original poster made it clear that he felt completely boxed-out by his half-siblings, and they effectively blocked him from getting the least amount of attention from his mother. Had given.
Responding to the viral post, hundreds of Redditors made issue of it, and called out the original poster’s mother and step-family for patting their backs on it. Redditors also commended the teenager for standing up for herself and leaving her mother’s house to protect her mental health.
,[Not the a**hole]Redditor u/DrMahlek wrote in the top comment of the post, which garnered nearly 8,000 votes. “She made her choice over and over again to choose her stepchildren over you.”
“You can’t control what others do, but you can control your reaction to those actions,” he said.
Redditor u/Ghitit, whose comment has garnered nearly 5,000 votes, echoed that sentiment.
“When he suddenly realized that you were breaking up with him because of his behavior” [is] When she suddenly decided you were her baby and she never wanted to treat you like that,” he wrote. “She seems so selfish.”
“She talks about a good game, but her years have made you treat her like her last priority,” added Redditor u/MsJingles0729, garnering nearly 2,000 votes. “Don’t let your mom or her family believe you’re wrong or that you have to admit it.”