Dear Amy: My husband and I are having a hot tub delivery soon. We plan to use it during the day without swimsuits. Yes, naked!
We have neighbors about 40 feet away who could see us if they wanted to – in the bathtub or walking 20 feet from our patio door to the bathtub.
We’re not shy and we don’t plan to hide. And no, we’re not “showing off”. We just want to enjoy swimming in our birthday suits.
Some non-neighbor friends are appalled. Your thoughts?
Naked as God intended, EH
Dear Bare: You will only be rampaging on your own property and I can’t imagine your nudity breaking any law (check your local laws).
However, do you relish the prospect of alerting your neighbors? Just a little?
And yes, of course, despite what you claim, you seem to be planning to “stack”.
It would be easy for you to wrap yourself in a towel for that 20-meter journey from home to the hot tub (you don’t need a towel anyway?).
You might have neighbors who would choose to pull down blinds, build a high (or taller) fence, or simply stop using your own backyard – or you might have neighbors who would welcome your hot tubs by pointing binoculars in your direction or photographing you from their property and posting photos or videos on social media.
This is quite a complicated legal issue, but if your neighbors can easily see you from their property without looking out a window or fence, your right to privacy is less certain.
Dear Amy: My wife and I were close friends with a married couple we’d known since we all grew up together.
However, my wife and the other woman had not spoken to each other for six years. While we all agree that the friend was “over the top” on many occasions, she apologized twice. My wife just can’t forgive her.
My husband and I still maintain a close friendship, staying in touch by phone and e-mail (since we live in different states).
My problem is that their granddaughter is getting married soon and we have been invited to a wedding. My wife refuses to go, saying that her friend has hurt her badly and that I would be disloyal if I went there.
I want to be there for my friend, but I don’t know if that would be disloyal to my wife.
This wedding is in a different state and would require two nights for me.
My friend would totally understand if I didn’t go, but I worry that I shouldn’t let my wife dictate my actions like this.
Thinking about getting married
Dear you are wondering: Your wife has the personal right to continue her separation from her former best friend, but she has no right to insist that you maintain your separation from your close friend.
Your wife’s former friend has made a number of offers to get your wife’s attention, and it takes a lot of effort for both of you to invite both of you to this important family celebration (how many grandparents are allowed to invite their own friends to their grandchildren’s wedding? ). Participation would obviously be a lot of effort on your part.
I don’t think it would be disloyal to your wife to attend this wedding, but I don’t think it matters much in your household.
Dear Amy: I admire your reaction to J in New York, the uncle who thinks a child should hug an adult, even if it’s uncomfortable.
I grew up in a generation that believed that children should make other people happy and allow unwanted touching, even if it’s uncomfortable.
When someone touched me inappropriately, I stayed silent. When I was s*xually harassed, I stayed silent. I was taught to ignore my discomfort.
I am determined that my little daughter will have autonomy over who can touch her. She is a child and is not responsible for the feelings of adults.
We’ve had problems with family members and even strangers trying to invade her space.
Other loving adults in the child’s life should not take this personally. Instead, they should try to understand that we all need to protect our children from dangerous people lurking in the shadows.
Dear Mother Bear: Unfortunately, predators are most often not “dangerous people lurking in the shadows”, but family members or friends.
You can email Amy Dickinson at firstname.lastname@example.org or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.
#appalled #shave #backyard