This person’s gender identity stifles conversation

Dear Amy: Our adult daughter and her partner have been together since college. They live together in another city. There has been talk of marriage going on for the last few years.


amy dickinson

Several months ago, they video-called to tell us that the partner no longer identifies as male, but as gender non-binary. They have adopted the pronouns they/they/theirs.

They should not be referred to as “the man” or his lover. When/if she and they marry, they will not be her husband, but gender-neutral terms.


My wife and I have concerns, but ultimately they are tolerant of their choices.

However, he and I have been using the English language collectively for over 100 years and are having a hard time making this linguistic change.


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