A woman sought input from others in a now-viral TikTok video that has garnered over 600,000 views. She explained her frustration with her husband’s slow attitude towards household chores as well as his expectation of receiving gratitude for completing the task.
In the video of Tiktok user @bonniedoes, she said she’s told him how to do laundry over the years, but he inevitably “kicks it off.”
Although he claimed he was unable to do laundry, @bonniedoes said he is able to do it, given that he is an engineer. TikToker @bonniedoes said his marriage counselor suggested putting up a whiteboard in the laundry room that reads how to do laundry.
“I think it’s a good idea,” she said. “Do you want to know why I think this is a good idea? Because I suggested it years ago, and then I keep recommending it again as time goes on.”
TikTok said it didn’t buy the whiteboard itself when it first suggested getting one. Instead, she hoped that her husband would “take some initiative” and buy it himself.
He didn’t buy the whiteboard until his counselor suggested it, and @bonniedoes had to tell him the instructions on the board.
She asked if she had a right to be offended that it took her so long to follow through with the suggestion, and it was only because someone else suggested it.
“He wants praise and he wants some big show of gratitude because he did the bare f**king minimum and took a step to figure out how to do something and how to do something in our house,” @bonniedoes wrote said.
Many suggested that her husband is doing what is known as “weaponized incompetence”.
“In a relationship, this one person might say something like, ‘I don’t know how to do this. So, I’ll let you take care of it.’ It can be seen as a manipulation tactic,” Mendez said.
Commenter Natalie Cairns asked @bonniedoes why the couple’s marriage counselor didn’t say anything.
“It’s ridiculous to even have you instruct him and list these things,” the commenter wrote.
TikTok mentioned in a future video that it is not completely happy with its counselor.
Another commenter, user 6067380431969, pointed out that someone else had to get his consent to validate the idea of hanging the whiteboard.
“This is someone who is actively choosing *not* to listen to you, but will listen to others,” he wrote.
Some even advised to end the marriage.
“Just leave him,” Lucia wrote. “My ex did our whole relationship. Then I left and he suddenly knew how to clean himself. For a new [woman],
“Leave him,” remarked Sadpits. “His brain is fully developed at age 33, he’s not changing. He’s looking for a mother, not a mate.”
In the comments section, @bonniedoes admitted that his video got more views
“Plus I know now [has] Half a million views and someone we know can see it. Good. Maybe he’ll change his behavior then,” she wrote.
Tiktokar filmed a later video responding to a viewer’s comment and posted that her husband has made an attempt now that she is fed up with his past behaviour.
“Now all of a sudden he’s trying to hurry up and scrape things together and it doesn’t seem like he’s doing what he’s been doing for the past decade,” she said.
TikTok said she has to decide now whether she wants to wait to see if the change is long-term, while wondering why it didn’t change earlier, when asked.
Chelsea Lewis commented, “It’s heartbreaking to suddenly see that your spouse was all capable and capable, but they chose not to for all those years.”
newsweek Contacted @bonniedoes for comment.